I am still completely shocked that this happened today......... It baffles me to think there are people out there who could do this but yet again i have proof that it happens. Let me back up a bit and give you some background information.
I teach domestic machine quilting classes at local quilt shops and guilds. I am a relatively young person in the quilting world and I am about building people up. My experiences in the quilting world have not always been positive. People haven't always been kind to me, they have shared opinions with me in rude or negative ways. I am a lucky one I have great confidence that each thing I do or am working on is the best that I can do at the time. I am okay with my work and it makes me happy, I am MORE happy when my work effects others positively but I don't NEED people to love my work, I love it and that is enough. I wasn't always this way, but I have grown into this confidence and I am enjoying it. Don't get me wrong I am not cocky or bragging I have SO VERY VERY much to learn, I am just confident that what I am doing is the best I can do at this time.
Today I had a student in my class, an older lady, she was clearly worried about class and being able to do the quilting designs I asked. I don't expect perfection, infact I let everyone know that they may not even be good at the designs when class is over, it takes practice. Practice that needs to happen outside of class at home to become really good at the designs. What I do ask is that every student tries each design and gives them their best shot. This student did indeed keep this promise. She worked hard, she tried every design, she gave her full attention to my class.
When we were nearing the end of class time she made a confession to me....... she had been afraid to attend my class. Not because I was young, and she feared we wouldnt have much in common but because of a past machine quilting class. This student who gave my class her best effort had taken a class in the past (CLEARLY NOT WITH ME), a 3 day class on machine quilting. After taking the class with the teacher and doing what I am sure was her best work on a hard new skill which she had just learned her teacher actually told her that it would be better if she just paid someone to quilt her stuff........ REALLY...... I was so shocked I asked if I heard her right....... Someone who is claiming to be a teacher told her "She better pay someone to quilt her stuff". My student brought the piece she was quilting in the class that day and I looked it over. Of course it wasn't show quality work she had just learned a new skill but it was definitely a good solid start and it was clear she had tried hard to do the skills ( the 2 things I require of my students).
So here we are back to the beginning...... how on earth can someone honestly feel good about themselves at the end of the day when they have done something like this to another person. She made my student afraid to try, afraid that she wasn't good enough to quilt on her own machine, afraid of the process which should be so very uplifting and fulled with happiness. What gives this "teacher" the right to destroy someones confidence in this manner?? How can she possibly claim to be an educator? How could this teacher still be teaching?? I am just baffled by all of this?
I am taking a stand today. A stand against the Quilt bullies who are spending all their time breaking down those who are doing their best, a stand against those who think that they are the best and nobody else can find their place in this big industry, a stand against those who think that their way is the only way to do or create things and that those who do things differently than they do are wrong or not as good.
I am instead asking that we take a moment to BUILD OTHERS UP, speak up, stand up and ENCOURAGE others to create their best work right now, encourage them to TRY, practice and create whatever makes their hearts happy. Support others, it doesn't take anymore time to build another person up instead of breaking them down. ENCOURAGE, ENCOURAGE, ENCOURAGE and help build others up!! This industry is big enough for everyone no matter their level of skills and training, so help and support others whenever you are able. Be a builder and take a stand against the bullies!! PLEASE!!
What baffles me even more, is how much the "teacher" is hurting herself! I mean really, how does saying something like that keep and grow your customer base of who you are teaching? *shaking my head*
ReplyDeleteHear, hear!! I'm so glad this lady overcame her fear of belittlement and took the risk of attending another class, and that she landed with yours! :D We need more encouragement and camaraderie in the world.
ReplyDeleteHow sad. It can be so hard to encourage people (although I too am absolutely committed to it), and those tenuous bonds can be so easily destroyed.
ReplyDeleteIt goes both ways, of course, but as teachers we expect a certain amount of opposition. In the end, Nice Matters.
In most cases, the teacher who says a student is incapable of learning is usually lacking the proper teaching skills. Everyone learns differently, it's just a matter of finding the right "hook"! I guess it just made the teacher feel better about herself to blame the student rather than spend time to find a way to reach her. Plus, some teachers need to look back at their early work to see how far they've come before they criticize their students' work...
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post and confession, thanks for sharing. I've often thought that quilters need to be good mentors, too, in order to encourage and pass on our love of quilting. Yes, I'm with you on taking a stand!
ReplyDeleteI stand beside you! When I decided I wanted to give free motion quilting a try I walked away from the class with my head hanging low and feeling defeated. First it was like the teacher didn't seem to believe in what she was teaching and was kind of discouraging insinuating that it would take a long time to learn. It was several years after that class before I got enough courage to even try again. I'm thankful to everyone who blogs and provides online classes and inspiration, without it I probably would have never tried again. (No one in our area teaches free motion)
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post - but it does happen (it did to me) far more often than you think.
ReplyDeleteStanding right beside you!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. I am a longarm quilter, and see all kinds of quilts. Some are great, some are not so great, but I always have something good to say to my customers about their quilts. No one is perfect, and we all have our own styles. What looks great to me might not look so great to someone else, but if I am happy, what does it matter what someone else thinks!
ReplyDeleteAs an instructor of many quilting techniques over the last 30 some years, the only thing I ever told my students was that they could and that they were great, that my way was only way of doing things and they were encouraged to find out what they liked best. A student should always leave a class feeling good about themselves and what they can do. I also think it very important than members of quilt groups treat each other with kindness, give encouragement and praise to each other. Our Quilt Artists of Kentucky is such a group. Check us out on Facebook at Quilt Artists of Kentucky. Thank-you for speaking out.
ReplyDeleteI meant to say that " my way is not the only way".
ReplyDeleteI have a 10 year old unfinished class project where the teacher wanted me to "do it her way". It was interpretive quilting! I NOW DO IT MY WAY all the time.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe teachers like this, although I've been in classes where it has happened. Now that I am a teacher I will never treat a student like that. I have had students in my classes that thank me and they have told the shop owner that they will only take classes with me going forward. Teachers that treat their students inappropriately won't have students for long!!!!
ReplyDeleteBeen In her shoes. Not comfortable. I'll stand against the quilt bullies with the,rest of you.
ReplyDeleteNot just the quilt bullies. ALL the creative expression bullies! Drawing, writing, singing, dancing, crafting, etc. Encourage everyone, find something positive to say, show them how to improve their skills, and celebrate every little achievement.
ReplyDeleteThis is just from the bottom of my heart! I always tell students this is just one way, I like doing it this way, please give it a try but remember it it your hobby and you have to do it how you like it. But don't say you don't like it when you haven't tried it yet. And yes, I have had years to practice so it might seam easy when I do it but I had to learn it too!.
ReplyDeleteAgree wholeheartedly!
ReplyDeleteI whole heartedly agree!!!!!! Everyone was once a beginner. Encourage, encourage, encourage.....yes yes yes.
ReplyDeleteI have a very good friend. When I hear a comment (in life, not in quilting) I consider it informational. She often considers it criticism. If somebody asks a question , they are trying to "catch her" in a lie. This is a product of 20 years of a bad husband. If everybody started out an expert, it would not be nearly as much fun. I might have told the teacher that I KNEW she was a good enough teacher to get me to the next level (i.e. this reflects on you as much as me and I am not going away.)
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